Throw a Coin To Your Guardian
by Ordon
Summary: Qrow Branwen has seen many strange things in his time as Guardian of Remnant, the one chosen to protect it against eldritch monsters and beings. However, none probably has come close to when he meets a strange being from another world who also hunts monsters. A side-story set in my Nevermore Sweetling Universe, which is a cross-over between RWBY, Cthulu Mythos, and Secret World.
1. Chapter 1

**So a bit of an Author's Note, mostly because the settings on FF don't allow more than two crossover categories and I feel like this story will take a bit of explaining. I know, I know 'yawn, blech' but bear with me. For those of you familiar with my 'Nevermore Sweetling' universe feel free to skip this AN, the only thing you need to be aware of is that there are minor spoilers for the main story if you've not read chapter 54.  
**

**For those of you unfamiliar with my 'Nevermore Sweetling' universe, it's a mix of RWBY, Cthulu Mythos, and Secret World where Qrow Branwen is the Guardian of Remnant, chosen to stand against vile eldritch beings who want to destroy/corrupt the world. Here are some things for context: **

**In this universe Qrow wields fire through a pact he made with the Elemental Lord of Fire: Sarongar. Most monsters are not really hurt by anything other than magical means of some kind, and so this is primarily how Qrow gets shit done.**

** There exists two sources of magical energy: mana, which is used by monsters and cultists, and anima which is from Gaia. Using anima can be difficult unless you're chosen to do so and Qrow usually has to cheat in some way to use it.**

**The gods of Remnant have been imprisoned by the eldritch beings, and Grimm themselves have almost entirely dissappeared. Semblances have either withered away or have changed to become more magic-like in nature. **

**All of that should be enough so that you're at least not scratching your head every minute or so trying to figure out what's going on; and hopefully you enjoy this little tale.**

* * *

"So," Ruby leaned back against a tree as we sat across each other over the campfire, "Winter and Kali told me all about this whole… 'Guardian' thing…"

"And?" I asked.

She shook her head, "Come on, it wasn't really that surprising to me… I always thought you were a superhero. It wasn't much of a leap." She grimaced, "Now the whole monsters thing? That was a bit harder, but then again I'd seen stuff that couldn't be explained any other way… Mr. Freezy, the Whipper Whills, the Snathi…"

I winced, "Oh… I guess that kind of ruined them for you?"

"Realizing that you were surrounded for years by a bunch of squirrels that would be eating people if your uncle hadn't made a deal with them does cast a different light on childhood memories." She agreed.

"Welcome to my life." I told her.

"So…" She leaned forward, "What's the craziest thing you've ever experienced?"

I lifted an eyebrow, "Damn, where to even begin…."

I began counting off on my fingers, "Well, recently I survived a killer carnival… then there was the time I fought a crew of orc pirates that flew around in a dinky wooden sailing ship… I once survived a drinking contest at a dwarven Thing…"

"A dwarven what?" Ruby asked.

"A Thing… it's kind of a massive party that doubles as an election for their clan leaders."

"Did you win the contest?"

I winced, "Oh Maidens no… not even close… like I said, I considered just surviving it an achievement."

She laughed at that, "What else?"

I scratched my chin, "Well, there was the time that I teamed up with a monster hunter from another world."

Ruby's eyes lit up, "Okay, that sounds way too cool, tell me that story." She demanded.

I smiled slightly, "Heh, figured that's where this was going… alright."

* * *

It started as most of my stories about being the Guardian of Remnant start: some whacko cultists were doing whacko things.

These particular nutjobs at the time were in the process of opening a portal; which apparently is one of the classics for a cult.

Just as classic was that I got the the ritual chamber just before the portal had fully formed. I swear it's not like I'm procrastinating or anything. I might be a bit of a drunk asshole, but I'm the Guardian of Remnant damnit, I take pride in my work.

Anyway, there I was, slicing into monsters and blasting cultists when something happened that I've only seen a couple of times before.

The great green fireball floating in the middle of the room that was the nascent portal exploded into a ring and a green material formed a mirror-like surface in the center.

"Oh crap." I muttered, as I ran the last cultist through the chest with Harbinger; I yanked out the blade and he slumped to the floor.

That, boys and girls, is the sign of a fully functioning, and stabilized portal... which meant two things. The first was that just about anything could come through it at any moment. I had tried questioning one of the cultists about just what they were trying to summon, but he had been singularly unhelpful.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I couldn't get him to talk, it's that he just wouldn't shut up about 'lords and ladies of the night', 'our lords and masters, for whom even being cattle is an honor'.

Trust me, that rules out like… maybe a handful of things. Of course, there's every chance that they had screwed up the portal and even they didn't know what could come through. That was a fun thought… and the head cultist's Old Tongue pronunciation had been kind of sketchy.

The second thing that meant was that shutting this thing down was no longer a case of jogging the metaphorical eldritch elbow really hard by killing the cultists conducting the ritual. It was gonna have to be a little more involved now.

I cast my gaze around the room, there had to be a focus of some kind that they had used to conduct the ritual. Cultists may be batshit crazy and absolutely fanatical, but even they understood the principle of work smarter, not harder. So most of the time they would have runes, or an altar, or a statue…

My gaze locked onto an orb that was currently floating a little off the ground. It glowed with a light that was the same green color as the portal, casting eerie shadows that seemed to shift and dance on the stone floor.

"Bingo." I murmured as I swapped Harbinger to its shotgun form and took aim.

I was about to pull the trigger when the cultist I had just stabbed leapt up off the ground and wrestled the barrel off target.

"Son of a-" I began, but was cut off as the cultist landed a fist right into my jaw.

"You cannot stop it!" He bellowed, spittle flying from his lips, his eyes crazed. "Our true masters come and they shall-"

I leveled Harbinger and blew off his head, sending him back to the ground in a heap, "Stay in their own damn plane of existence if they know what's good for them." I replied. I shifted Harbinger back to the orb, but then something happened that I swear has never happened to me before.

Something came out of the portal.

I say "something" because I only saw a blur leap out and then something decked me so hard that I saw stars.

When my vision cleared, I was staring up at the ceiling, the stone floor cool on my back.

"Shit, shit shit." I scrambled to my feet and saw that the orb was missing, and the portal was shifting and writhing, "Shit."

The orb was gone, presumably taken by whatever that thing had been, that meant that the portal was collapsing.

I frowned, had whatever come through the portal not gotten the memo? Why had it closed the portal itself?

I supposed that I shouldn't have been too surprised, after all, most things that got cultists weren't exactly the sharing type… maybe it had wanted Remnant all to itself?

Still though, it had apparently decided to book it, it hadn't even made sure to finish me off; my Aura apparently keeping me safe from most of the blow.

Which meant that there was a possibility it had been running from something.

I looked back at the dying portal and shrugged; I would have to chase whatever that thing was down and take care of both it and the orb. But for now, I would make sure that nothing else was going to take the opportunity to slip through.

I cracked my neck and readied Harbinger as I watched the portal get smaller and smaller.

Then something else came through.

It dove out headfirst, landing in a heap on the floor.

It was humanoid, dressed in full armor that was a mixture of leather and mail; on its back were two sheathed swords. Its hair was pure white and it groaned as it got to its feet.

I frowned as I watched it get up, it certainly wasn't nearly as fast as whatever it was that had come through first.

It also clearly wasn't fully human, its eyes were like a cat's, yellow with pupils that were black slits, with the left one having a nasty looking scar.

The portal died behind it, collapsing into nothing with a _wumpf_.

It turned to regard the empty space behind it and then gave a sigh, "Damnit." It groused, "I hate portals."

Alright, so I could understand it, and as remarks go, that isn't exactly the kind of thing you expect to hear from something that had just crossed time and space to invade your world.

I was already against something that had knocked me flat on my ass without me being able to even see it; and there was still the theory that maybe that thing had been running from something. While first impressions definitely left me doubtful that _this_ had been what it was running from, if I've learned anything in my line of business, it's to never judge by appearances.

So I tried something that I don't try very often: diplomacy.

"You've got about five seconds before I blast your head off your shoulders." I told it, levelling Harbinger at it, "So start talking."

It lifted its hands up in a placating gesture, "Whoah, slow down." His alien eyes darted around the room, "Where's the Bruxa?"

"The what-now?"

"The Bruxa." He said slowly and deliberately, "Vampire, fast, can turn invisible."

Turn invisible? Despite myself, I felt the back of my neck itch, and it took everything I had to keep my eyes on the stranger.

"I think it ran off." I told him, "Took the orb that the cultists used to make the portal."

"Cultists?" The stranger asked me.

I gestured to the asshole at my feet, "Cultists, you know… worship eldritch beings, make portals so that Guardians of Remnant have to come kick their ass instead of enjoying whiskey in a bar with waitresses in short skirts.'

"Remnant?" The stranger asked, "Where's that?"

"Remnant as in the planet, the world that you just came into through that portal."

The stranger let out another sigh, "Great, so I'm in another world."

"You're the one who dived in headfirst." I told him.

"I was chasing after the Bruxa." The stranger explained.

"That's it?" I asked him, "No 'conquering the world, spreading eternal night,' and 'destroying all mortals'?"

The stranger lifted an eyebrow at me, "Can't say that I've ever really had that on my agenda." He replied dryly, "All I want to do is kill the Bruxa and then get back to my own world."

I ground my teeth and did the mental math, I could fight whatever this thing was, and then go in completely blind against something that had knocked me senseless in the first half-second I had met it. Or I could trust this thing and at least get information on this Bruxa thing.

There was also something else, a feeling I had in my gut that the stranger was telling the truth.

So I lowered Harbinger, "Why don't we go get a drink?" I asked him.

He lowered his hands to his sides, "Sounds good to me."

"My name's Qrow, Qrow Branwen." I nodded to him, "You?"

"Geralt." He replied, "Geralt of Rivia, I'm a witcher."


	2. Chapter 2

"So let me get this straight," I leaned over the table, slightly rattling the respectable collection of empty bottles and glasses between us, "You willingly go out and hunt monsters? As in, that's your career choice?"

Geralt lifted an eyebrow, "Wasn't exactly optional." He replied, "I was made a witcher as a child and people don't exactly line up to hire us for other work. We're barely tolerated as it is; besides, it sounds like your work is fairly similar."

"Look, I do this job because I have to." I told him, "Literally big, glowing being froze time and told me I was the Guardian of Remnant. I don't do it, then the world ends faster than you can spit."

"Mhmm," Geralt cocked his head, "He pay well?"

I scowled, "Not a lien. Ozpin, the headmaster of one of the combat schools, is in the know so I get a stipend for conducting 'research'."

"Big… glowing… you sure it wasn't just a monster taking you for a sucker?" The witcher asked.

"Not unless it managed to get every nutjob mortal and monster in Remnant in on it." I answered.

"Mhmm." Geralt replied as he knocked back another cup of strong-smelling vodka.

"So we've done the meet and greet." I gestured to bottles on the table, "And you seem on the up and up, and we both want the same thing; this Ruxia-"

"Bruxa." The witcher interjected.

"Right… kill that thing dead and the orb she nicked, destroyed or locked up before either of them can do any more damage."

"And get me back to my world." Geralt prompted.

I gave a grunt, "Goes without saying; pleasant as your company has been, it's kind of a blemish on my record that two beings from another world are running around."

"Mhmm," Geralt replied as the waitress came by and set another cup in front of him.

"So this… Bruxa. Any idea how we can find it?" I asked.

"Normally Bruxa and other more intelligent vampires are pretty good at blending into society." Geralt replied, "But this one has been dropped into an entirely new world; that will make it much more difficult to accomplish that."

I thought about that for a moment, "Is it smart enough to know that?"

"Almost certainly."

"It will probably hide out somewhere rural then." I suggested, "It might stand out, but if things go south it can just vanish or kill everyone."

"At least until it can figure where exactly it stands in terms of power." Geralt agreed.

I scowled, "Then it probably won't take long for it to figure out that it outclasses mortals pretty badly." I leaned back in my chair, "I guess my other question is just what it will do with the orb."

"When it fled my world it was trying to bring back a higher vampire that was its master." Geralt told me, "No doubt it's going to start trying to do that here."

"Damn it." I cursed, "Can they use magic in your world?"

Geralt shrugged, "Not really, they have magic-like abilities, but from what I understand it's mostly instinctual."

I grimaced, "Okay, so hopefully it takes a while for her to figure out how to use it; either that or she'll need to find a cult to use it for her."

"There a lot of those around?" Geralt asked.

"I just wiped out the one I knew about in this area." I replied, "Which means I'd like to think it will take a month or so for another to move in, but I wouldn't bet on it."

"So find her, before one of those finds her." Geralt stated, "So where do we start?"

I frowned as I recalled what I knew about the area. "There are a couple places we can check first, small villages and farms mostly." I stood up and put some lien down on the table to cover our tab.

"We should get going, the longer we wait, the more time it has to get acclimated."

Geralt nodded and followed suit, and a burly man in a leather jacket ran smack dab into him.

"Hey watch where you're going." The man snarled.

"Sorry about that." Geralt replied.

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be punk." Another man in a leather jacket practically materialized beside the first and I looked around to see there were about six or seven of them, all looking directly at Geralt.

I ground my teeth first of all, we didn't have time for this. Second, bar fights with a gray haired with two swords on his back and a devilishly handsome man with a battered cloak on his gets around faster and farther than you would believe possible. It would be much harder for us to tail the Bruxa with a story like that running around.

So I tried something that I don't often try… diplomacy.

"Hey now, guys." I called, "How about I get all you fine gentlemen a drink and we go our separate ways?"

"Not until the freak here gets his." The first man replied, glaring at the witcher.

I blinked, okay that was more than a little unreasonable. If it hadn't been for the fact that I had seen him leap out of a portal to another world, I would probably have believed that Geralt was a Faunus. It was why I felt comfortable just bringing him to a bar like this.

Now don't get me wrong, there's still anti-Faunus assholes running around. I've been around Remnant, and unfortunately, there's always gonna be a handful of asshats keeping the old hatreds alive. So, in theory this could be a collection of such individuals.

The only problem with that angle was that at least two of their members were very clearly Faunus. There was a bull Faunus with two horns sticking out of his head, and there was a rodent Faunus of some kind, with a large tail that he was currently whipping about.

Clearly these guys were in the know, or something else was going on. I surreptitiously looked around the room, trying to see if anyone was directing these guys somehow.

No dice, everyone was currently taking one of the two major options when confronted with a bar fight; they were either suddenly interested in their drinks, or they were starting to clear out of the place.

Okay… I had tried to appeal to greed, now it was time to try reason.

"Look guys." I held up my hands, "I know you outnumber us, but consider the following. We are very obviously armed." I nodded at Geralt's twin blades and made sure Harbinger's sheath was clearly visible, "This can only end badly for you."

Now, I have to say I wasn't exactly that optimistic about this particular appeal. The fight was almost certainly going to happen; at most it was an attempt to find the most reluctant of the group. Usually there's one or two in any fight; those that for whatever reason would be the ones to get stuck in last. They were the ones that if things went south for their side fast enough would straight up back down, which would make the fight a lot easier.

Point is, I hadn't exactly expected much from it.

What I hadn't been expecting was for them to all get stupid girns on their faces as they pulled out an absolute hodgepodge of chians, knives, and the bull Faunus in particular pulled out an honest to Maidens claw hammer.

I don't mean an oversized or cool claw hammer either. He literally just had a carpenter's hammer, but from the look on his face you'd think he had just pulled a bazooka out of his ass.

Maidens above, these guys were nuts.

"So what're the two swords for?" The lead thug asked Geralt with a sneer, "Is it in case you lose the first one?"

"And here we go again." Geralt murmured.

I began to open my mouth to say something, anything, when Geralt up a hand, "Don't bother, Qrow." He told me, his tone resigned, "I've seen this too many times before, there's no way to stop it."

As if the witcher's words had been some kind of starting whistle, the thugs charged forward as one.

* * *

About an hour later we were walking on the road out of town and into the countryside. We hadn't killed any of them, but I really hadn't felt like trying to explain to the authorities why the cat-eyed man didn't have any form of identification.

"So what the heck was that?" I demanded as we walked.

Geralt sighed, "It's something every witcher has to deal with at some point." He told me, "I don't know what it is, but there are just times where people will just pick a fight with a witcher; no matter how unreasonable it is. Apparently whatever compels it isn't just limited to my world."

I looked at him incredulously, "So let me get this straight… this just _happens_ in your world?"

"Mhmm." Geralt assented.

"Even though witchers hunt monsters that could kill ten of them at a time without batting a sweat, for a freaking living?"

"Mhmm."

"And it's a common enough occurrence that you're aware that it's a phenomenon?"

"Mhmm."

"Does it ever end well for them? There's got to be tons of stories about this kind of stuff going wrong."

"There's a reason why it's colloquially called 'suicide by witcher'." Geralt replied.

I shook my head, "Anything else you forgot to mention? Do witchers attract meteorites too? Maybe you activate dormant volcanoes by sneezing?"

"No, but I can tell you one thing." He said.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" I asked him.

"The Bruxa… it's following us."


	3. Chapter 3

Now of course, being the consummate professional that I am, I did not immediately rubber neck around and draw Harbinger. I had seen the Bruxa move; if it was attacking us I would probably already be kissing the dirt.

Instead I casually nodded and pulled out my flask. I took a deep drink and let out a gasp of satisfaction and as I did so looked into the metal of the flask, using it as a mirror.

Not a soul was in sight and for a moment I frowned in confusion; then I remembered, "Invisible… right." I muttered.

I pocketed the flask and turned to Geralt, "So tell me a little about Bruxas… weaknesses, strengths… how good their senses are…"

"It probably can't make out what you're saying if that's what you're getting at." The witcher told me, "Besides, there's almost no way that it wouldn't know that I'd be aware of it."

I lifted an eyebrow, "So it's following us when it knows that you know that it's following us?"

"Mhmm."

"Huh." I thought about that for a moment, "Any idea why it would do that?"

"We are hunting it," He replied, "Bruxas, are predatory by nature... the feeling of being hunted isn't natural to it. Combine that with being stuck in an unknown world; it might have decided to try and remove us just to simplify things a little."

"I mean I guess that makes sense." I admitted, "It just seems like its time would be better spent trying to figure out how to use the orb." My hand instinctively fell to Harbinger's hilt, "So when will it attack us?"

"It likely won't. At least not unless it thinks it can catch us off guard or something similar." Geralt said.

I lifted an eyebrow, "So we're just going to be in a stalemate until it thinks it can get the jump on us?"

"Mhmm."

I sighed, "Terrific, so if it knows that we know it's following us; how are we going to lure it out for a fight?"

"We." Geralt replied, "Are going to go witching."

* * *

The plan was simple enough; we were going to hunt a monster and by doing so, bait the Bruxa into either joining in the fight or attack us afterward.

The catch was that she was gonna have to buy it. Which meant that it would have to be something dangerous, something that I either wouldn't go after alone or would need tons of prep to even think about going after.

The depressing thing was that there was a decent list of candidates: The Temple of Akbarra, The Blargathar, The Bugheaded Beast of Laart… all places and creatures that I would probably have to deal with eventually but weren't currently major threats.

Finally I decided on one that would meet our criteria and probably most importantly, was fairly close by.

"Tyrian The Destroyer." I told Geralt about an hour after our initial conversation.

"Mhmm, quite the moniker." The witcher commented.

"He's been occupying a patch of land around here." I told him, "And by 'occupying' I mean as he's apparently literally stuck a banner in the ground and declared it the 'Land of the Mistress Most High' or some crap like that."

"Mhmm, so why 'The Destroyer' then?"

"Because he razed every single town and city in the area before slaughtering the inhabitants." I replied, "Now he kills anyone who steps foot in his territory. The problem is of course, that he is slowly expanding it."

"Charming, so what's the plan then?"

"We walk in and challenge him." I answered, "He'll find us."

"Mhmm, so how far is the journey?" Geralt asked.

"I think." I nodded ahead, "That we're here."

A large banner made out of black cloth, was hanging on a large white pole and I realized with a shudder was bone. On the banner were words painted what I hoped was red paint.

"'Abandon all hope, ye who dare enter the realm of the Mistress of Darkness, the Empress of Mistral and ruler of Remnant.'" Geralt read aloud, "Quite the list of titles."

Without a word, we walked past the banner a few steps.

"How long until he finds us?" Geralt asked.

I shrugged, "Don't know, but might be a bit." I walked over and sat down, leaning against a tree, "Something tells me he's not the sneaky type though, we'll probably know when he's here."

"You're probably right." Geralt agreed as he took a seat next to me.

For a moment we were silent.

Then Geralt turned to me, "So, while we're waiting... want to play some Gwent?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Something's comin." Geralt stated as he stood up.

I followed suit, rolling my shoulder as I limbered up for a fight.

"A big something." Geralt added loud clicking and scuttling sounds filled the air, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

A few seconds later, a massive scorpion burst through the trees, coming to a halt several paces away from us. It was clad from claw to tail in black metal, and riding on top of it was a man who was similarly armored.

"Ah, so you would be the intruders that have befouled the lands I have claimed for my Mistress." The man called out.

"And you would be Tyrian The Destroyer?" I answered back.

The man puffed out his chest and tail flicked into view, a scorpion's tail; the man was a Faunus then.

"I am." He replied haughtily, "I serve she who will rule over all of Remnant and bring even the gods themselves to heel. Who might you be?"

"Qrow Branwen, Guardian of Remnant." I replied.

"Geralt of Rivia." The witcher added.

"Well then Geralt, Qrow… you have trespassed upon these lands and thus your lives are forfeit. You will regret your foolishness… for…"

He continued on and Geralt and I gave each other a look.

Then I lifted Harbinger in its gun form and Geralt lifted a crossbow and we opened fire in unison.

The shots from Harbinger slammed into Tyrian's scorpion mount, who let out a hiss of pain as it burned holes in its carapace and armor.

The witcher had decided on a different target, and several of his bolts stuck home; denting Tyrian's armor and one of them lodging in his shoulder.

"You ruffians!" Tyrian bellowed, "I will have your-"

A shot from Harbinger and a crossbow bolt slammed into either side of his head simultaneously, caving in the helmet and sending him reeling backwards.

He let out an incoherent wail of rage that was muffled by his helmet before tumbling off of his mount and out of sight.

"Gotta admit, so far not impressed." Geralt told me.

"Wait for it." I replied.

He didn't have to wait long, because something leapt up over the top of the giant scorpion and landed lithely on the ground in front of us.

It was humanoid in shape, but its legs were bent backwards and it had four arms that were bent at odd angles. It was completely covered in a shiny, black carapace, and thick, spike covered mandibles flashed out of its helmet-like head as it spoke.

"Your heads belong to me." Tyrian said simply.

Then, before Geralt or I could get a quip in, it launched itself at us.

* * *

Tyrian extended his hands out to either side, and I saw that his fingers ended in long nails that had a sheen on them from some kind of liquid… probably some kind of venom.

He swept them at Geralt and myself in a pair of lightning fast strikes; forcing us to dodge back and parry the blows.

As we did so, Tyrian let out a sharp _clack_ and the giant scorpion behind him let out a chattering war cry and it skittered forward to join the fray.

That wasn't good, Tyrian was enough of a handful, we didn't need that thing to get in close.

Geralt seemed to share my concern, "I've got the big one." He told me.

I nodded and stepped forward, attacking with Harbinger as I did so; Tyrian intercepted the blade and sent his tail lashing out at me. I jerked my head out of the way and then shoved him back; buying the witcher space.

I was vaguely aware as a large black orb flew over my shoulder. It collided with the giant scorpion and I felt a biting chill fill the air as ice exploded all over the monster, freezing it in place.

Tyrian turned his head just slightly and his eyes widened as he saw what had happened to his mount. I took full advantage of the distraction, sweeping Harbinger around in an arc to cleave off one of his arms.

The limb fell to the forest floor, where it began spasming around and Tyrian let out a gasp as his arms instinctively went to clutch at the bleeding stump that remained.

I kicked out with my foot, connecting solidly in Tyrian's chest and sending him stumbling backwards towards his pet.

I called out in the Old Tongue and thrust out a hand, blue flames roared outward towards the Faunus as Sarongar heeded my call. I blinked in surprise as a wave of red hot flames swept out at the same time; the two flames hammered into Tyrian, sending him flying backward.

He collided with the frozen form of the giant scorpion, and it shattered into pieces.

"Haven't really seen blue fire before." Geralt commented, "What's that about?"

"I use my fire through a contract of sorts through an Elemental Lord." I explained, "How do you use fire? Another orb like the ice thing?"

"Nah… that was a bomb… the mutations and training we undergo allow witchers to use our own brand of magic." Geralt replied.

"Neat." I turned back to where Tyrian was slowly getting back to his feet, his head shaking back and forth in horror at the remains of his giant scorpion.

"You've slain Sir Reginald!" He cried, "You monsters! How could you?"

Tyrian continued hurling insults and curses at us, and he began walking towards us when he fell flat on his face.

That didn't stop him for long though, as he lifted up his head, "Bastards." He spat at us, and he began dragging his way towards us.

I turned back to Geralt, "So what do you say to a little contest? Biggest fire wins?" I asked him.

"You're on." He replied.

I grinned as we turned back to the fallen Faunus; I began reaching deep, drawing upon Sarongar's flames. Beside me, I heard Geralt shift his stance as he began focussing, murmuring under his breath.

I had just enough time to be aware that something was behind me before I was on the ground, seeing stars.

For a moment I was completely bewildered… what the hell hit me?

Then I blearily looked up to see Geralt being held up by his hair by a woman with gray, twisted skin and a mouth full of teeth sharp as knives.

Oh shit… so that's what a Bruxa looked like...

The monster let out a wild laugh and then opened her mouth wide before lunging towards the witcher's neck.


	5. Chapter 5

For a moment, I thought the witcher was a goner as the Bruxa lunged with her teeth extended to rip his throat out. Then, before the teeth could sink into his flesh, there was a flash of light and the Bruxa recoiled her maw rebounded from an invisible force right above Geralt's skin.

She let out a scream of frustration and I used that opportunity to open up with Harbinger in its gun form.

The shots burned small pock marks in her chest, but I was only able to pulled the trigger two more times before she hefted Geralt up above her head and threw him at me.

I barely managed to tumble out of the way as Geralt hit the ground. The witcher fell into a roll and to his feet as I stood up, but by that time the Bruxa had vanished.

"Damn it." I cursed, "You think it scampered off?"

"Unlikely," The witcher replied, "Once they start a fight, they don't usually turn tail."

I grimaced, "Well, so that's the first step of the plan out of the way, not for parts, two, three, and four."

And what exactly do those entail?"

"Kill the Bruxa," I counted, "Get the orb, send you home, and then go get absolutely smashed at a tavern."

There was a pause, "That's five steps." Geralt pointed out.

"What? No, that last part I don't need to plan for, that just happens." I shot back, "Now in terms of killing this thing, how do we go about it? Can you use another one of those freezing bomb things?"

"It's too fast for that." Geralt replied "Just stay close and get ready to move."

I ground my teeth as I heard the sound of something shifting behind me. Every single instinct screamed at me to move, at least enough to find a chokepoint… make her come at me from only one angle.

But I had seen how fast the Bruxa moved… if I tried to run, I would be dead. If I was going to survive this, I was going to have to trust the witcher.

So I swapped Harbinger to its sword form and then forced myself to remain still, despite every rustling leaf nearly making me jump out of my skin.

Then suddenly Geralt spoke, "Now."

I hit the deck, instantly diving off to the side. Beside me Geralt did the same as he extended his hand to the ground and I felt a thrum fill the air.

One moment there was nothing, and then suddenly the Bruxa was between us, her claws extended outward to her sides.

She swept them, one after the other, in a movement meant to cleave through our spines and send our heads spinning off to the ground.

Bizarrely however, her movements seemed slowed, as if she were underwater. She took a step back and opened her toothy maw in a scream of rage, then slowly turned to run.

"Oh no you don't." I snarled as I called Sarongar's to line Harbinger's blade. I didn't know how long her slowed condition would last, so I was going to have to make this one count.

With a shout, I lifted up Harbinger and swept it at the Bruxa's neck with all the strength I could muster.

The blade sliced through the monster's flesh and bone until it suddenly stuck in the middle. I heard the dulled peal of metal striking metal and for a horrible moment I wondered if Bruxa spines were indestructible or something.

Then I glanced to see Geralt, his sword extended in a strike that went straight into the Bruxa's neck… meeting my blade in the middle.

The Bruxa's head fell forward to the ground, and the body followed soon after in a crumpled heap.

"Great minds think alike." Geralt commented.

"No kidding." I replied as I flicked Harbinger to clear off the foul ichor that now coated it, then I paused, "Bruxa die from decapitations, right?"

Geralt shrugged, "It's worked so far." He answered before going onto his knees. I looked down to see a small leather pouch that was tied to the dead monster's waist.

The dead monster… I let out a curse as I looked around.

"What's wrong?" Geralt asked.

"Tyrian got away." I replied and I let out a sigh, "Great, why do I get the feeling that's gonna bite me in the ass one day?"

Geralt shrugged, "I think I would take a dead Bruxa even if it meant eight of him running around."

I winced, I didn't exactly disagree, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to regret not finishing him off when I had the chance.

I shook my head, "Whatever, if I'm so jumpy about it, I can go after him as soon as we get you back home."

"That might have become a bit more difficult." Grealt commented.

I frowned, "What do you mean by that.?"

"The orb." He said, "It's not here."

* * *

I stared blankly for a second and then sighed, "Of course it's not, that would have been too easy."

"At least we know now, why she was following us." Geralt noted.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers, "Damn it, you're right… she thought we had it." I leaned over the witcher's shoulder, "Is there anything in there at all?"

"Just this." Geralt held up a slip of paper, various runes covered its surface, and as I watched they seemed to zip and dance across the page, even going as far as to wrapping around to the other side. "I'm going to guess this isn't normally how people write in your world?"

"You'd be right." I told him, "But I recognize it, that's Fergarssian."

"Fu-what?" Then he shook his head, "Nevermind, what does it say?"

"I said I recognized it, not that I could read it." I replied.

"Mhmm." He stood up, "Know anyone who does?"

"I mulled it over, then nodded, "Yeah, there's a Fergar by the name of Liet-Fa in Vacuo."

"How far is that from here?" The witcher asked.

Considering we're in Mistral? Too far." I began walking, "Fortunately I might have a shortcut."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this?" Geralt groused.

* * *

"I was right." Geralt stated, "I hate this."

We were standing outside a Conduit to Agartha, and I turned away from the golden glow to face the witcher.

"Look, Agartha is possibly one of the safest possible shortcuts that a mortal can take." I pointed out.

"What if this… Agartha decides I'm not a mortal?" He asked.

"Then we run really fast and get out of there." I told him, "And we have the pleasure of taking the months-long scenic route… which by the way, is who knows how long in your world."

"Mhmm, don't know if it actually works like that."

I shrugged, "Regardless, something tells me you don't fancy staying here longer than you have to. Also, need I remind you that you still being here in Remnant is a mark on my near perfect record?"

I folded my arms, "So what's it gonna be bright eyes? Months long slog? Or a quick, couple hours jaunt?"

"Fine." He grumbled.

Then together, we stepped through the Conduit.

* * *

"I didn't think it was possible to hate this anymore than I already did." Geralt said as we emerged into Agartha, "You never mentioned there would be so many… portals."

"Is that a problem?" I asked.

"I hate portals." He muttered darkly.

I lifted an eyebrow as I looked around Agartha.

The enormous tree's wide boughs were lined with mirror-like golden discs of light that were about two times the height of a man and about three times as wide. All of which had images of where they would take you if you stepped into them.

They stretched for as far as the eye could see, hundreds… if not thousands of them… and every single one was a portal to somewhere in Remnant.

"Huh." I scratched my chin, "Can't help but feel like I just dunked a cat in the ocean. If it makes you feel any better, we only have to take one."

"Mhmm, marginally." He replied, "Let's just get this over with."

I led the witcher along the branch and past the portals that lined the sides, "So uh… that thing you did to the Bruxa… more witcher magic?"

"Yeah. Yrrden… useful sign." He gestured at Harbinger, "What about that weapon of yours… I've seen you turn it into a scythe, a sword, and some kind of alchemical crossbow..."

I frowned, "You mean the gun?"

He shrugged, "Sure, the 'gun'... but does it turn into anything else?"

I shook my head, "Nah, honestly I'm already kinda pushing it at three, most people only ever do two."

"How does that even work? Is it magic?"

"Nah, just a bunch of complicated mechanical stuff." I explained, "It's a pain in the ass to design and to build, but once you get it right, it becomes really useful."

"Seems like it." Geralt agreed, "Sure beats carrying around a bunch of different weapons for each situation."

"We're here." I told him, stopping in front of one of the portals. Its surface showed a field of sand, empty save for a horse-hair banner whose strands were dyed a brilliant combination of purple, gold, and green.

Then, taking a deep breath, I stepped through.

* * *

As soon as I emerged on the other side, I fell to the ground as it felt like someone had punched me in the gut and then taken a boot to the back of my head.

Dimly, I was aware as Geralt knelt down beside me,"Qrow? Qrow, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just. Give me a minute." I got out through gritted teeth. The pain slowly subsided and I got shakily to my feet.

"What the hell was that?" Geralt demanded.

"Something that happens whenever I leave Agartha." I replied, "No clue why it happens, just hurts like a bitch for a bit."

The witcher shook his head, and seemed like he was about to say something, when the sand around us erupted.


	6. Chapter 6

Four humanoid figures, their bodies completely covered in green robes and their faces obscured almost completely by golden turbans, save for purple eyes that glared out at us, sprang out of the sand as if by magic. Which it almost certainly was.

They surrounded us, each of them wielding a jagged halberd which they began to point and jab at us.

Geralt's hands shot towards his sheathed swords, but I held up a hand, "Don't!" I warned him.

The witcher looked reluctant, but he obeyed, slowly lowering his hands into a placating gesture.

"Tir akt al nuen?" One of the figures demanded.

"Hil buin nal fala." I responded, then I pointed to the witcher and then back to myself,  
"Valkorash to duen Souq."

The robed figures froze in place, going completely still.

"What were they saying?" Geralt asked.

I shrugged, "The usual, something along the lines of 'what our business was here.' Orteken is kind of metaphorical though, so that translation is a little rough."

"And what did you tell them?"

"That we wish to do business at the Souq." I replied, "Or I called him a rat-faced gerbil of the Souq; again, the language is loose, very metaphorical."

"What is that?" The witcher asked.

"What, you guys don't have gerbils in your world?"

Geralt gave me a look, "You know what I mean… what is a Souq?"

The ground beneath our feet began to quake and rumble, and then like an invisible curtain had been dropped, the desert in front of us was suddenly no longer empty.

Massive buildings of clay and stone appeared out of nowhere, lining broad avenues that were filled with wooden stalls draped with cloth.

The air went from almost completely silent, to being filled with the hustle and bustle of a thousand different voices as beings of all shapes and sizes moved up and down the stalls, trading and bartering with figures clothed exactly like the halberd wielding warriors that now stood quietly around us.

The warriors bowed and shot back down into the sand, disappearing without a trace.

I simply jerked my thumb at the sight in front of us, "That," I told the witcher, "Is a Souq."

* * *

We walked through the streets, passing by monsters and mortals alike as they conducted business with lien, as well as fat, heavy gold and silver coins.

"So this… Souq, who rules it?" Geralt asked.

"A tribe of Ortekkas, they're the robed guys." I nodded to one of the green and gold clothed figures who was currently arguing with a harpy over a jar.

"If you haven't noticed the color scheme, that's the color of their tribe. I think they call themselves the Leleur-Dutempes or something like that."

"Mhmm, quite a mouthful. Does it mean something?"

I shrugged, "Probably? But it's in their sacred language; learning the trade language was enough of a pain in the ass that I couldn't be bothered."

I stopped outside a small, modest building, a sign with a set of seven eyes surrounded by a circle of runes hung from its front.

"Alright," I turned to Geralt, "So Fergars are a little... different. Number one rule is to be looking at their face at all times. They can get kind of aggressive if you take your eyes off of them… natural instinct that you don't think they're threatening enough to pay attention to."

"Mhmm… they dangerous?"

I shrugged, "Not really, but we kind of need him to read that paper… and the Ortekkas get really annoyed if people cause trouble."

"Got it, I'll behave."

"Bit of advice, don't do eye contact." I told him, "Not because it's inherently bad, it can just get kind of… distracting, and can make you more than a little dizzy."

"How's that?" He asked.

"You'll see when you meet him." I replied. Then I turned, knocked on the door, and went inside.

"Greetings, Vernacha!" I called.

"Ah, is that you Qrow?"

There a series of bumps and thumps and then the Fergar appeared behind the counter.

It's body was mostly human looking, save for the brown fur that covered it. However, it was the face that made it unmistakeable for a monster, with wide, fleshy lips and a nose that hooked off in two different directions.

It was the eyes, though, that really took the cake for weird. There were seven of them, all spread haphazardly around its face. They were like a chameleon's, both because they elongated from its face, and because they were all moving independently of one another.

Well… except that unlike a chameleon's, which just rotate around to look at different things, these actually moved as in shifting around the creature's face.

Even as I watched, they neatened themselves to form little rows, whereupon two of them focussed on me and two more went to Geralt.

"How can I be of assistance?" The Fergar asked.

"Okay, I see what you meant." Geralt whispered softly.

"I've got something I would like translated." I told the monsters, and I put the piece of paper the Bruxa had been carrying on the counter in front of him.

"Of course." The Fergar replied as it spared an eye to the paper before placing a hand over it, "Shall we discuss price?"

"Name it." I replied.

The Fergar focussed two more of its eyes onto Geralt, "Him." It said, "I want him to answer a question."

I frowned, "You heard him Geralt."

"Mhmm… fine." He walked up and the Fergar mouth split into a garishly wide grin, "Witcher, witcher in my hall, who is the fairest of them all?"

Geralt lifted an eyebrow, "Yennefer of Vengerberg." He answered.

The Fergar pouted, "Oh… such poor taste." It shook its head, "Fine." It lifted up the paper and its eyes shot all around its face, tracking the runes as they moved this way and that.

"Ah, it is rather simple." It said, "It is an invitation of sorts."

I frowned, "Of sorts?"

"Yes, you see, I only need to read the words: Yal'kel and-"

I didn't get to hear the rest as the world around me collapsed in on itself and I popped out of existence.

* * *

I fell flat on my back, letting out a curse as it was bruised against a hard, cold surface.

"What…" Geralt demanded, "Was that?"

"We were teleported." I replied through gritted teeth.

"I think… I think I finally hate something more than portals." He groused.

"Well, never let it be said I didn't show you new experiences." I snarked as I got to my feet and surveyed our surroundings.

We were currently standing on a large, stone surface divided up into large black and white alternating squares. On either side were massive shrubberies that stood in front of evergreens that reached high into a pitch black sky, empty save for an almost cartoonishly shaped crescent moon that illuminated everything in a soft glow.

Looming menacingly underneath that moon was a sprawling mansion, towers and spires shooting up into the air.

As if to complete the scene, an organ blared out of nowhere, followed by the crack of thunder and bolts of lightning danced overhead.

"Where are we?" The witcher asked me and I shrugged.

"I have absolutely no clue." I answered, then I started walking towards the mansion.

"You sure that's the best idea?" Geralt asked.

"You got a better one, Bright Eyes?" I challenged.

I heard him grumble a little, but soon we were walking side by side, the sound of our footsteps striking the stone echoing eerily in the empty air.

"Okay, so here's my best guess of where we are." I said, "That paper we had was an 'invitation' that pulled us into somewhere in the Outer Realms."

"The what?"

I frowned as I tried to explain, "Okay, so our world is divided up into these… layers. The ones closest to the center are primal forces… like elemental planes. They're kind of wound up in the existence of the world itself. That's when mortals get involved. Thoughts, emotions, concepts, they all kind of create an outer shell outside of those forces… that creates beings and spaces of reality that kind of… embody those things."

"Mhmm…" Geralt looked around, "So what? We're in a realm of creepy mansions or something?"

"No, I-" We came to a halt as the ground beneath us shook and huge beings began to emerge from the trees.

Geralt and I drew our weapons and went back to back as the beings surrounded us, and then they came out of the shadows and the moonlight washed over them.

They were massive statues, all carved out of black stone. Two of them were a man and a woman, intricately carved crowns on their heads. To their sides with two men with strange hats and large tomes clutched in two hands.

"Oh," Geralt muttered as his eyes flicked over the rest of the statues, all of them different, save for eight which were designed to look like footmen in plate armor with swords and shields, "Kind, Queen, bishops...we're…"

"Yeah," I agreed, "I think we're in a land of games."


	7. Chapter 7

The huge chess pieces all arrayed themselves on the board in between us and the mansion. The ground shook again and I looked from side to side to see stone walls rising around us, ringing the board and locking us in. Save for a single gap that was directly behind the pieces that now stood in a menacing silence.

"Well then." I turned to Geralt, "Two guesses as to what we're supposed to do."

"Right, give me a second." The witcher reached into a pouch and pulled out a metal sphere. He cocked back his arm and hurled it at a section of the wall close to us.

The bomb smacked against the wall before falling to the ground, and I watched as it opened up to shoot a handful of confetti into the air.

"Mhmm." Geralt made a sound somewhere between resignation and disappointment.

"I'm guessing that isn't normally what it does?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Although I don't know if I actually expected anything different." He eyed the chess pieces, "So what… are we pieces now? I hope you're better at chess than I am or else this is going to go poorly."

I took a series of steps that saw me walk in a small circle and shook my head, "I don't think so." I replied, "If that was the case I don't think we'd be able to move around so freely; that and there would probably be pieces on our side."

"Mhmm," Geralt scratched his chin, "So there's something else to it? Do we just need to reach that opening?"

"I think so, but I think they," I jerked my thumb, "Are going to take exception to that."

And right on cue, every single one of the chess pieces pulled out a massive weapon. From the knights with massive lances, to the pawns with pairs of swords. The Queen herself reached under her dress and pulled out a massive, spiked mace.

The King though, really pulled a doozy, as the two rooks slid over to him and he grabbed them in either hand. I watched in disbelief as giant cannons emerged out of either of them and he turned them so that they pointed squarely at the pair of us.

"Okay, I don't know much about chess," Geralt said, "But I'm pretty sure that's bullshit."

"Get them!" The Queen commanded.

The chess pieces all let out war cries and charged.

* * *

Almost immediately the exact nature of the challenge became apparent. The pawns advanced step by step, their blades flashing as they did so. The pair of knights galloped forward and then leapt up impossibly high, easily clearing the pawns. When they landed they weirdly cantered off to the side one square; before falling still once more.

"They're moving just like in the game." I commented.

"Right," Geralt agreed, "So first things first, let's get past that wall of pawns."

There was a pair of deep booming sounds and a pair of cannonballs launched from the rooks and straight towards us.

"Dodge!" I spat.

I dropped into a roll as the lead projectile flew over me and then sprang to my feet in a run, charging at the advancing wall of pawns. I wasn't sure how long it would take for that bastard to reload, and this was going to be hard enough trying to stop a sword from taking my head off without freaking cannonballs.

I set my sights on one of the pieces and ran straight at it. As I did so, I watched its swinging blade, getting ready to duck around it as soon as it was clear.

It was that that nearly killed me.

I barely saw the movement on either side of me as the pawns to either side of the one in front of me suddenly broke off their steady advance to lunge at me with blinding speed.

"Shit!" I spat as I leapt up above the blades just in time, landing square on the legs of the pawn that had been in front of me. I braced for the strike I was sure was coming, but instead the pawn just glared at me with murderous eyes as I scrambled up it and over its back.

Then I cursed again, "Damn it, that's right." I muttered, pawns could only attack diagonally in chess. There was something else about pawns I was forgetting about… but just what-

My train of thought was cut off as the sound of cannonfire echoed around the board once more and I quickly sidestepped as one of the projectiles ripped right past me.

At the far side of the board, the King cursed in a language I didn't recognize and ducked behind the rooks as the cannons drew back slightly to reload.

The thing was, considering how long it had taken him to reload last time, I was clear of that threat, and the board in between me and the exit was empty. If I booked it now, nothing could stop me before-

Then I heard Geralt spit out a curse and I turned.

The witcher was currently being hemmed in by the Queen and the two bishops, with knights flanking on either side; ensuring there was no escape.

I watched as the Queen whirled her mace around in huge, looping arcs. The witcher was dodging them fine so far, but he was being driven slowly back to the stone wall; soon he was going to run out of room.

For a brief moment I hesitated, and then I sighed, "Damnit, I _wish_ I could be that kind of asshole." I muttered and then I ran towards the fray.

* * *

Now there are times I could rightly be considered an idiot. Charging towards a collection of murderous giant statues completely unarmed would seem like one of those times, but I had a plan.

But considering the plan, it was still very possible, maybe even probable that this could still be considered one of those times where I was an idiot.

I got to where I needed to be, skidded to a halt and then let out a loud whistle, "Hey!" I cried out to the Queen, "Twenty-ton Betty!"

The pieces surrounding Geralt froze and the Queen turned around incredulously to face me.

"That's right you stony ass bitch!" I called out, "I just called your mountainous derriere fat! What're you gonna do about it?"

The Queen let out a bellow of incoherent rage and began thundering towards me, her mace lifted high to squash me like a bug.

I held my ground, my arms spread out to either side, and the back of my neck breaking out in a nervous sweat as I prayed to just about anything that would listen that I had timed this right.

The enraged Queen was almost right on top of me when I heard the sound I had been waiting to hear and I waited a split second longer before throwing myself to the ground.

There was the sound of shattering stone as the pair of cannonballs that had been aimed at my back collided with the royal chess piece head on.

Stone splinters slapped against my back and I felt sharp stinging on the exposed flesh on my arms and neck as they left small cuts everywhere.

I shot to my feet, ready to dodge the blow that I was certain was coming, instead my jaw dropped as I saw that the entire upper half of the Queen was gone; sheared away completely, leaving only a pair of legs and fancy-looking stone shoes.

"Well shit." I muttered.

There was a pause as all of the chess pieces stared at the shattered monarch, and then every single one of them turned their eyes on me.

Then with a furious roar, they all charged.

"Well shit." I cursed as I braced myself for the onslaught.

It was then that Geralt made his move, the witcher leapt up onto one of the horses the knights were riding on and he thrust out a hand at its face.

The horse froze for just a moment and the witcher leapt free before sprinting away.

Then the stead went absolutely berserk.

First it bucked up and its rider went flying into the stone wall, shattering into pieces. Then it reared upward and stampeded at the two bishops, who couldn't even turn in time before it was amongst them, lashing out with its hooves, smashing them to pieces.

The other knight turned on the stone creature, and even the king turned his cannons onto it, and soon my regicide was entirely forgotten as the remaining chess pieces dealt with the threat.

I watched in fascination until Geralt ran up to me, "We need to get out of here... _now_." He told me.

I frowned, "What's the rush?" I asked him, "Seems like we've pretty much taken care of-"

Then I froze as my gaze went past him to our starting side of the board, "Oh."

Because at the other end of the board, there were now eight more queens, all wielding the same giant maces; the swords of the pawns lying discarded on the ground beside them.

That's right… that's what I had forgotten about pawns.

Then they all looked at the two of us.

"Yeah, let's go." I agreed.

* * *

We barely managed to dive through the gap as eight murderous maces crashed into the ground behind us. There was a collective howl of rage and a layer of stone shut up to close the opening.

Then everything was silent.

"Well that was… interesting." Geralt remarked.

"Yeah," I panted, "Didn't know I was that good at chess."

Geralt lifted an eyebrow, "I was there too, don't 'rook' me of my share of the credit."

I let out a laugh, "You were good too, don't worry, I'm not taking you for 'granite'."

"Mhmm." Geralt got to his feet and dusted off his pants as he looked around.

I followed his lead, we were currently in front of the mansion, a majestic fountain gurgling in front of an ornate pair of double doors.

"So then… I guess we head inside?" Geralt asked.

"In a minute." I replied, "I'm gonna call a friend."

I walked up to the fountain and dug around in one of my pockets before pulling out a large, wooden coin.

I whispered in the old tongue, hoping I was getting the words right and then tossed it into the fountain.

"What are you doing?" Geralt asked.

"Well if I got the words right, I'm going to be able to talk to someone who will probably be able to help us get out of here."

"Mhmm, and if you got the words wrong?"

"A giant sea monster in the shape of a rubber duckie will come out and murder us, I don't know."

Fortunately it appeared like there would be no murderous, plastic water fowl, because a bit of blue chalk floated to the surface of the water.

I let out a sigh of relief and grabbed it. I then wrote out a name on the stone lip of the fountain; the lines glowing with a soft green light.

"Sir Geralt."I murmured as I spelled it out.

"Is this some kind of a joke?" The witcher demanded.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

He pointed to the letters, 'That's my name."

I frowned as I turned to him, "Wait… _that's_ how you spell it?"

"How else would I?" He asked.

"But you pronounce it like Gare-alt." I pointed out, "This is more like Jer-alt."

"That's how you would pronounce that?" The witcher asked incredulously.

"You know what? My world, my pronounciation rules… unless you want your name from now on to seriously be 'Bright Eyes'. Now can I talk to the man who might be able to help us escape this hellhole?"

The witcher grumbled a little, but went silent as I turned back to the fountain and tossed the blue chalk back into the water.

The water swirled for a moment and then flashed once with a blue light and the reflection of a familiar face appeared on the surface.

"Qrow!" The former knight of the Order of the Equinox greeted me, "How are you doing?"

"Uhh…" I winced, "Alive, but in a bit of a situation."

The knight's smile faded, "Oh?"

I explained everything that had happened and his brows furrowed, "He said 'Yal'kel'? You're sure of that?"

I shrugged, "I mean, it sounded like he was about to say something else as well so…"

The knight nodded, "Yes, he would, and if I'm right it would have been 'Kathikonta'. The two words in the old tongue mean 'three tasks'."

"Mhmm," The witcher, "So when we were brought here; we're under some kind of geas to perform three tasks?"

Sir Geralt's gaze turned to the witcher, "Who's this?"

"Some guy that came through a portal… trying to get him back." I answered before he could respond.

The knight gave me a look but shrugged, "In any case, he's right. The spell that sent you there is powerful in that it can teleport you to another realm; but there are certain rules that accompany such an enchantment. For one, it must be done in good faith; don't ask me how it's enforced or what entity is behind it, but it's been pretty well recorded that one can't use that spell and say… drop those being summoned straight into a pit of lava."

"Maybe those times just weren't recorded." I suggested.

Sir Geralt shrugged, "Maybe so, but regardless, once the allotted number of tasks are completed, the host _must_ allow the guests to issue an ultimatum for their release and a boon. In addition, if the guests are successful, the host must return them to a location of their choice, owes them an additional boon to be collected later based on the number of tasks completed, and cannot summon them again."

I lifted an eyebrow, "That's quite the laundry list." I commented.

The knight shrugged, "It was crafted by the Fey." He explained, "I'm pretty much paraphrasing."

I scratched my chin, "Alright, so assuming that chess gauntlet thing was one task, we've got two more to go, then we can demand to be released?"

Sir Geralt nodded, "That's correct."

"Okay, then." I looked back up at the mansion, "I guess we'd better get started… anything else I should know?"

"Other than you're going to have to tell me the whole story on this later? No, not really."

"I'll keep that in mind." I replied, "See you on the other side."

The knight nodded and then his reflection disappeared.

I turned to the witcher, who was crossing his arms as he regarded me, "So something's occurred to me… you have a Geralt in your world."

I nodded, "Right."

"Well then," He walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Do me a favor, if there's someone named Jaskier… might go by Dandelion... that you know of: give them a good kick for me; and under _no_ circumstances, have me meet them."

I lifted an eyebrow, "Why's that?"

"Because I can't guarantee that I won't kill them if I do." He told me before clapping me on the shoulder and then walking towards the double doors.

I followed after him and the witcher hesitated before solidly planting his hands on the doors, "Here goes nothing." He said, and then shoved.

The two doors swung open with a loud creaking noise.

The mansion's entryway was massive, with a pair of staircases leading to the second floor, the floor was tiled with a checker pattern of black and white, and on the first floor was a lobby that led to what appeared to be several other rooms.

Oh, and on the floor was a man who was very obviously dead, his eyes wide open and a pool of blood beneath him.

Standing over the man was a group of people, an older woman in a maid outfit was bawling her eyes out, being comforted by a bald man in a gray business suit.

In the corner a woman in a fur suit was passed out, being fanned by a man with large glasses. Sitting in a pair of armchairs off to the side was another woman dressed in black with black hair, and sitting beside her was a man with a walrus mustache and in what appeared to be a military uniform.

Standing aloof from it all was a tall man in a butler's uniform, who turned to us as we entered and he let out a massive sigh of relief, "Thank goodness inspectors!" He said, "You've arrived… I'm afraid there's been a murder… and the murderer is still on the loose!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to TehGramerPolise and MasterofBones for their help with this chapter.**

* * *

I looked from the butler back down to the body, "Huh."

Geralt leaned over to me, "So you think this is the next challenge then?" He asked me quietly, "Find the murderer?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, probably so."

"Alright, everyone back away from the body." Geralt demanded.

The small crowd complied, taking a few steps back and they chattered amongst themselves as Geralt squatted down next to the corpse.

I eyed the witcher with interest as he quickly examined the body and then looked back up.

"All of you go into that room over there." He pointed at a room to the left of us, "Wait there and we'll be there to ask you some questions in a moment."

The group all looked at one another and then obeyed, with the man in glasses and the butler working together to carry the passed out woman out of the room.

"What do you think?" I asked him after they had gone.

The witcher ripped open the dead man's shirt to reveal a large stab wound on his chest, "Mhmm, doesn't look very clean… the sides of the wound are pushed in, either a dull knife or something else." He told me, Then he flipped the body over to reveal yet another bloody wound.

I frowned, "That one looks different." I remarked.

"Yeah, not a stab wound… looks more like something from an axe." The witcher agreed. "This happened after he was already killed, the blood here isn't enough… his heart had already stopped pumping."

I leaned in to look at the back of the man's head and grimaced, "Damn, look at that." I reached down and parted the man's hair to reveal a huge dent in the skull, "Someone smacked him in the back of the head with something heavy."

"Hmm." The witcher flipped the man back over and then forced the man's jaws open and took a sniff, "Damn, things just got more complicated."

I lifted an eyebrow, "How so?"

"Nightshade, nux vomica, and almonds." He told me.

I frowned, "Okay… so someone poisoned him?"

"Those are key smells of three different poisons." Geralt answered, "Any of which would have killed him."

He stood up and dusted off his gloves as I let out a low whistle, "Damn, someone was thorough."

"Or more than one person tried to murder him." Geralt replied, then he frowned, "Or something…" He murmured.

I sighed, "Damnit… alright, so how do we start?"

"First things first, we check out this room." The witcher pointed to the door on our right, "His fingernails are scuffed, and there's drag marks coming from that room, it's likely that this whole thing started in there."

I lifted an eyebrow, "So that's why you sent everyone away from it?"

"Mhmm… doesn't give anyone the chance to mess with it before we get a look." The witcher confirmed.

We walked up to the door and I pushed it open.

For a moment we stood there, and then I let out a curse, "Holy shit… this is a mess."

Because the room really was a mess, it looked like somebody had tied a bell to a bull's tail, then a red flag to its face, and then shocked it with a cattle prod.

There was a chair that was knocked over, a tea cup lying on its side beside it. The rug that was on the ground next to them had been dragged around, and on it was a nightstand, once again, knocked over; with a large glass mug on the ground next to it.

In the center of the room was a large table with a scattering of silverware, as though someone had swept their arm across it, across from it was the mounted head of a deer, one of its antlers with blood on its tip.

I took a step and frowned as I heard the clatter of metal and I looked down to see an axe, its head bloodied as well.

I stared down at it, then swept my gaze around again, "So uh… where the hell do we even start?" I asked the witcher.

Geralt didn't respond as he squatted down, his glove brushing on the axe, his cat-like eyes examining it for a moment before sweeping the room.

Finally, he nodded, "Alright, I've got it."

I blinked, "You've got what?"

The witcher stood up and turned to me, "I know what happened here; go get everyone."

* * *

The witcher was standing in the center of the room with his arms crossed as I led the suspects into the room.

There was a general murmur of shocked horror as they all saw the mess that the room was in, and it turned to hushed speculation as they saw the witcher and they slowly assembled in front of him.

I leaned back against the wall, a slight frown on my face as I waited for Geralt to speak.

I mean seriously; what the hell had the witcher even seen that he could even _begin_ to ascertain what had happened? Despite myself, I found that I was leaning forward slightly in anticipation as the witcher jerked his head towards the disarray and spoke:

"He committed suicide." He said simply, then he began walking over to me, ignoring the gathered spectators as an uproar began.

"You can't be serious!" The bald man in the business suit protested. The man in the glasses seemed about to speak, but then the woman in the fur suit let out a sigh and fainted again, and he caught her right before she collapsed to the floor.

The maid began crying again, and the walrus-mustached man began comforting her.

There were only two people who seemed aloof from the chaos. One was the woman dressed in black, who simply pulled out an old fashioned cigarette stick and lit it up, taking a puff as she simply stared straight ahead. The other was the butler; who simply stood stock still, a small, pleasant smile seemingly glued on his face.

"Come on," Geralt told me, "Let's go."

"He committed _suicide_?" I asked him incredulously.

"Yup." The witcher answered glibly, "Now let's get moving."

"What about the poisons?" I asked him, "The multiple wounds?"

Geralt sighed, "He poisoned himself, and then things got _really_ stupid; trust me, he did himself in."

I shook my head, "Alright, I guess I trust you."

"Glad to hear it." He replied and I followed after him to the door to leave the room.

Except when the witcher tried it, it was locked, "Mhmm…"

I felt apprehension run down my spine, "So uh… you're absolutely sure about the suicide thing?" I asked him.

"Yeah." The witcher replied.

I scratched my chin, "Maybe then there's something more to-"

Then behind us, someone cleared their throat and we turned to see the butler, "Excuse me… aren't you forgetting something?"

"Like what?" The witcher growled.

The butler gestured back at the gathered people, who were all staring at us with curious eyes, "How did you figure it out?" He asked.

"Yes, yes." The woman in black clapped her hands together, "Please good sir Inspector… just how did you figure it out?"

Geralt looked around at the group, "Isn't it enough that we solved it?" He groused.

They continued to stare at him and the witcher looked at me and I shrugged helplessly, "I'm guessing this is part of the 'game'."

"Mhmm." He turned back to them and then sighed, "Fine… but I warn you… some absurdity is involved."

He pointed at the table, "It started there." He said, "The victim attempted to poison himself with nux vomica, but he botched it, and the effects were delayed. Believing that he had been entirely unsuccessful, he then made a cup of tea, this time, to make sure that he did a proper job of it, he put in two deadly poisons… cyanide and nightshade."

He then pointed at the table, "Unfortunately for him, that's when the nux vomica kicked in, causing convulsions that sent him across the room and caused him to sweep his arm across the table." He jerked a thumb at the nightstand, "He then blundered into the nightstand, and then slammed into the wall, the deer head then fell down and he fell on top of it, hence the stab wound."

He folded his arms, "The head wound is fairly simple, he tried to get up and began crawling his way to the door when there was a final convulsion and he smacked his head into the door frame."

I frowned and looked to see a spot of blood there that I hadn't noticed before. I let out a low whistle, then I frowned, "But wait, what about the axe?"

Geralt shrugged, "He died of the poison and wounds as he dragged himself into the main room, and then she…" He then pointed directly at the woman in the fur suit, "Put the axe in him."

I lifted an eyebrow at the woman, who let out a fluttering sigh and passed out again as everyone turned to look at her.

"Really Inspector!" The butler protested as the bald man went to her side, "You would accuse her of such a vulgar act? When she possess such an obviously fragile constitution?"

"She's faking it." The witcher stated flatly, "She's falling too slowly, too controlled." He then strode across to the woman, grabbed her hand and then lifted it above her face before letting it drop.

The woman's natural instincts took over and rather than falling right on her face, it fell to the side at the last moment, obviously controlled. She then opened her eyes and hate filled them as she stared at the witcher.

"Yes, you are right… it was simply a shame that he was dead when I did it." She spat acerbically, "After all it was he who-"

But the witcher had already turned around and was walking to the door.

"Wait, don't you wish to hear why I did it?" She asked, her voice bewildered.

"No." He replied and twisted the doorknob.

It opened and I followed him through it, and the last I saw of them was their look of shock and something akin to affront as we closed the door right in their face.

I turned to the witcher, "Damn, that was something… where did you learn all of that?"

"Heightened senses help a lot." He explained, "And trust me… most of my work ends up being a coroner's at some point or another."

I winced, "That's… kinda grim."

"You get used to it." He replied and as we walked down the hall.

"So… one more game… what do you think is next?" I asked him.

"I just hope it's not a board game." He said, "I hate board games."

I frowned as we began to come up on the end of the hall, a door in front of us, "Hey, do you hear that? It kinda sounds like… snakes… like… a lot of snakes."

Geralt put his hand on the doorknob and turned it.

I blinked as I felt a slight jump and looked around to see that we had been transported on top of a large platform and my eyes widened at what was in front of us.

There were a series of platforms, much like we were on now, sticking out of the wall and generally going upward, to where I could faintly see a door similar to the one we had just gone through at the very top.

And connecting all of those platforms were a bunch of two types of things… rather ordinary looking ladders… and gigantic freaking snakes that wound their way between them. As they saw us, their reptile eyes went red and they hissed menacingly, baring sharp fangs.

"Well shit." I muttered.


End file.
